{"id":6885,"date":"2025-09-21T06:51:42","date_gmt":"2025-09-21T04:51:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/editionsjou.net\/?p=6885"},"modified":"2025-09-21T06:51:42","modified_gmt":"2025-09-21T04:51:42","slug":"163-sur-le-banc-1-par-pierre-menard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\/?p=6885","title":{"rendered":"#163\/ Sur le banc (1), par Pierre M\u00e9nard"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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Boulevard de la Villette, Paris 10\u1d49, le 21 septembre 2018<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je porte rarement mes cheveux l\u00e2ch\u00e9s, j\u2019ai besoin qu\u2019ils soient relev\u00e9s, disciplin\u00e9s, comme si je tenais \u00e0 mettre un peu d\u2019ordre dans le d\u00e9sordre de ma t\u00eate. J\u2019aime le regard que portent les filles sur moi dans la rue, mais je pr\u00e9f\u00e8re la caresse d\u2019un homme. J\u2019aime danser comme j\u2019aime courir pour me vider la t\u00eate. Dans les f\u00eates, j\u2019aime me d\u00e9guiser. Je peux rester ainsi des heures, casque sur les oreilles, \u00e0 \u00e9couter la voix d\u2019un ami ou une chanson en boucle. Je n\u2019aime pas qu\u2019on croie que je m\u2019ennuie. Je suis absorb\u00e9e. J\u2019aime beaucoup les voyages, je suis attir\u00e9e par les pays asiatiques, le Vietnam, le Cambodge, j\u2019y suis all\u00e9e \u00e0 plusieurs reprises. Le matin, au petit-d\u00e9jeuner, j\u2019aime la confiture de fruits rouges sur mes tartines de pain. La confiture, cela me rappelle mes vacances chez mes grands-parents dans la Creuse. Le cuir de mon blouson me prot\u00e8ge. J\u2019ai le r\u00e9flexe de croiser les jambes et de pencher la t\u00eate. Je me sens parfois observ\u00e9e sans lever les yeux. Le lobe de mon oreille est attach\u00e9, on m\u2019a dit que c\u2019est un trait g\u00e9n\u00e9tique r\u00e9cessif. Les bruits de la rue me parviennent comme un fond sonore d\u00e9form\u00e9. J\u2019ai toujours besoin de musique, c\u2019est comme un rempart, un \u00e9cran qui me garde \u00e0 distance du monde. Je d\u00e9teste quand on m\u2019interrompt pour demander l\u2019heure ou une cigarette. Je crois deviner les regards pos\u00e9s sur moi, sans chercher \u00e0 les confirmer. J\u2019ai grandi en me m\u00e9fiant des silences dans les conversations. J\u2019aime les applications qui gardent trace de mes d\u00e9placements, comme si mon t\u00e9l\u00e9phone \u00e9crivait mon journal intime \u00e0 ma place. Je note parfois des id\u00e9es dans l\u2019application Bloc-notes mais je les e\ufb00ace avant de me coucher le soir. Je peux rester immobile longtemps sans \u00e9prouver d\u2019impatience. J\u2019aime sentir le vent sur mon visage, cela me donne la chair de poule. Sans mes lunettes je me sens nue. Les bancs sont des refuges temporaires, comme les arr\u00eats de bus o\u00f9 je n\u2019attends personne. Je n\u2019aime pas qu\u2019on devine ce que j\u2019\u00e9coute. Quand j\u2019\u00e9tais enfant, j\u2019imaginais avoir des enfants et j\u2019avais d\u00e9cid\u00e9 de leur pr\u00e9nom. Aujourd’hui j\u2019ai bien chang\u00e9 sur la vie en couple, je vis mieux avec mes colocataires. J\u2019ai parfois envie de dispara\u00eetre dans la foule, comme si mon corps pouvait se dissoudre dans le bruit. Je crois que mon visage ne refl\u00e8te pas ce que je pense vraiment.
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Boulevard de la Villette, Paris 10\u1d49, le 21 septembre 2018<\/strong>

Je fume une cigarette chaque fois que je cherche \u00e0 ralentir le temps. J\u2019ai toujours un mouchoir en tissu dans la poche de mon pantalon. J\u2019aime ma femme mais je ne peux pas m\u2019emp\u00eacher de regarder les femmes que je croise dans la rue \u00e0 la d\u00e9rob\u00e9e. C\u2019est plus fort que moi, je les imagine nues ou j\u2019essaie de deviner le son de leur g\u00e9missement au moment de faire l\u2019amour. Le banc est pour moi un poste d\u2019observation, jamais un lieu de repos. Mes cheveux gris ne me g\u00eanent pas, j\u2019y vois une forme de maturit\u00e9. Je n\u2019aime pas qu\u2019on m\u2019interrompe dans mes pens\u00e9es. Quand j\u2019\u00e9tais enfant, je jouais au football mais j\u2019en garde de mauvais souvenirs. Cela ne m\u2019emp\u00eache pas de regarder r\u00e9guli\u00e8rement les matchs \u00e0 la t\u00e9l\u00e9vision et de supporter Fenerbah\u00e7e. Je me m\u00e9fie de mes propres \u00e9lans, pr\u00e9f\u00e8re la retenue. Je m\u2019assois \u00e0 l\u2019extr\u00e9mit\u00e9 des bancs pour garder un espace entre moi et les autres. Je n\u2019aime pas le son de ma voix, mais les rares fois o\u00f9 je dois parler dans ma langue maternelle, j\u2019ai l\u2019impression que son timbre n\u2019est pas le m\u00eame, il sonne di\ufb00\u00e9remment, et cela me plait. Je garde mon t\u00e9l\u00e9phone dans la poche int\u00e9rieure de mon manteau, je ne le consulte presque jamais dehors. J\u2019aime le contact de la cigarette entre mes doigts, le geste r\u00e9p\u00e9t\u00e9 m\u2019apaise. Je ne parle pas aux inconnus. Je me surprends pourtant \u00e0 observer ceux qui partagent l\u2019espace. J\u2019ai une cicatrice sous l\u2019\u0153il droit qui rend mon visage plus dur que je ne suis. Je ne suis pas s\u00fbr de ce que je cherche en me retournant. Je regarde sans intention, mais je regarde quand m\u00eame. J\u2019ai souvent l\u2019impression d\u2019\u00eatre invisible. La fum\u00e9e me prot\u00e8ge, comme un rideau. Je reste silencieux, toujours. Je me dis que la vie est faite d\u2019occasions manqu\u00e9es. Je n\u2019ai jamais su aborder quelqu\u2019un sans raison pr\u00e9cise. Je crois que mes yeux trahissent ce que je retiens de dire. Je pourrais rester longtemps assis \u00e0 c\u00f4t\u00e9 de quelqu\u2019un sans prononcer un mot. J\u2019aime l\u2019\u00e9l\u00e9gance discr\u00e8te, celle qu\u2019on remarque \u00e0 peine. Je m\u2019habille toujours de sombre. Je porte des chaussettes noires. Je pense souvent \u00e0 mon p\u00e8re, il ne souriait jamais en public. Je suis de ceux qui pr\u00e9f\u00e8rent la nuit. Je fume lentement, comme si chaque bou\ufb00\u00e9e \u00e9tait une mani\u00e8re de retarder la fin. L\u2019\u00e9t\u00e9, l\u2019ombre des arbres dessine sur les trottoirs des motifs qui me rappellent les tapis de ma maison d\u2019enfance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\n
sommaire<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
par cat\u00e9gories<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
par noms<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
newsletter<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
dons<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
infos<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Sans pub, sans subvention, en acc\u00e8s libre, TINA online est financ\u00e9 par les dons \u00e0 partir de 1\u20ac sur cette page >>>>><\/a> merci<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Boulevard de la Villette, Paris 10\u1d49, le 21 septembre 2018<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6888,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,15,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fictions","category-observations","category-revue-tina"],"yoast_head":"\n#163\/ Sur le banc (1), par Pierre M\u00e9nard - <<< \u00e9ditions JOU<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\/?p=6885\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"#163\/ Sur le banc (1), par Pierre M\u00e9nard - <<< \u00e9ditions JOU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Boulevard de la Villette, Paris 10\u1d49, le 21 septembre 2018\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\/?p=6885\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"<<< \u00e9ditions JOU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-09-21T04:51:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\/app\/uploads\/2025\/09\/29914064617_55b22c622e_k.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2048\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1153\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eric Arlix\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u00c9crit par\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Eric Arlix\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=6885#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=6885\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Eric Arlix\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c28daead05fe49e106d2655b42e8f9bd\"},\"headline\":\"#163\\\/ Sur le banc (1), par Pierre M\u00e9nard\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-09-21T04:51:42+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=6885\"},\"wordCount\":1000,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=6885#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/app\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/09\\\/29914064617_55b22c622e_k.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Fictions\",\"Observations\",\"revue TINA\"],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=6885\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=6885\",\"name\":\"#163\\\/ Sur le banc (1), par Pierre M\u00e9nard - 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