{"id":2158,"date":"2024-12-07T02:13:51","date_gmt":"2024-12-07T01:13:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/editionsjou.net\/?p=2158"},"modified":"2024-12-07T02:13:51","modified_gmt":"2024-12-07T01:13:51","slug":"31","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\/?p=2158","title":{"rendered":"#31\/ Chien d’\u00e9crivain par Ian Soliane"},"content":{"rendered":"\n


Je hais les bouts de bois. J\u2019ex\u00e8cre les jouets qui couinent. Je d\u00e9teste les balles de tennis. Lancez-moi un frisbee, vous l\u2019attendrez longtemps. Je ne bave jamais ni pratique le reniflage d\u2019anus, mais je sais que la Torah contient six-cent- quarante-huit-mille-deux-cent-trois voyelles en version h\u00e9bra\u00efque. Je connais le roman le plus long du monde – Artam\u00e8ne ou le Grand Cyrus<\/em> – ainsi que la p\u00e9riodicit\u00e9 des fonctions plagiats dans l\u2019\u0153uvre de Houellebecq, et pour r\u00e9aliser un diagnostic diff\u00e9rentiel, je suis capable d’\u00e9cumer toutes les publications, tous les ouvrages pr\u00e9c\u00e9dents. Je sais, c’est assez bluffant, mais je suis un chien d\u2019\u00e9crivain. Mon ma\u00eetre mesure 1,82 m, il m\u2019a achet\u00e9 un apr\u00e8s-midi d\u2019hiver \u00e0 une foire chinoise, et en l\u2019honneur de C\u00e9line, il m\u2019a donn\u00e9 le nom de Toutouche. J\u2019aime m\u2019asseoir par terre pendant qu\u2019il \u00e9crit. Il \u00e9crit et boit. Il \u00e9crit jusqu\u2019\u00e0 six ou sept heures du matin. De temps en temps il s\u2019arr\u00eate pour me caresser la truffe. C\u2019est un besoin, chez lui, de me caresser la truffe. On reste comme \u00e7a sans bouger. On se contente de se regarder en silence. Lui, connectant sa broche au port de ma truffe humide – mais sans bave, parce que je suis issu de la s\u00e9rie Wildog qui n\u2019a pas de bave, par contre j\u2019ai des hanches \u00e0 rotation, un pouls perceptible, des oreilles \u00e9quip\u00e9es de senseurs commandant une voix (tordez-moi l\u2019oreille et vous d\u00e9clenchez des petits cris de joie) et un chauffage avec variateur dans les flancs pour \u00e9lever la temp\u00e9rature du corps. Seule ma truffe reste froide, comme dans la r\u00e9alit\u00e9. C\u2019est ma fonction de chien d\u2019\u00e9crivain. C’est l\u00e0 que j\u2019interviens. Pour le dire simplement, piocher, mixer, structurer, g\u00e9n\u00e9rer l\u2019histoire, organiser la trame, et mon ma\u00eetre est vraiment heureux, quand je lui sors un paragraphe, tout un chapitre, l\u2019ensemble du roman, qu\u2019il saura lui seul parapher ou non. Ce que je veux dire, c\u2019est que la gamme est large. Parce qu\u2019il y a \u00e7a aussi : c’est un \u00e9crivain original, merveilleusement dou\u00e9, son dernier roman \u00e9tait plein de sentences et de trouvailles \u00e9tonnantes, comme \u00ab dieu est un \u00e9moji \u00bb, ou \u00ab l\u2019amour ne nous r\u00e9v\u00e8le aucune v\u00e9rit\u00e9 \u00bb (amour et v\u00e9rit\u00e9 \u00e9tant les deux mots importants de la phrase, et on peut les intervertir). Franchement, on ne sait pas bien d\u2019o\u00f9 lui vient l\u2019inspiration. C\u2019est peut-\u00eatre parce qu\u2019il est \u00e9crivain. Mais c\u2019est peut- \u00eatre aussi parce qu\u2019il prend des trucs. Ce jeudi 15 avril, aux alentours de 19 h 38, mon ma\u00eetre et une femme aux tempes ras\u00e9es se sont accoupl\u00e9s sur le canap\u00e9, lui assis, elle \u00e0 califourchon, puis mon ma\u00eetre a pay\u00e9 la femme, et elle est partie. Apr\u00e8s quoi mon ma\u00eetre a perfor\u00e9 sa peau et rempli ses veines d’h\u00e9ro\u00efne pendant quasiment la moiti\u00e9 de la soir\u00e9e. Maintenant qu\u2019il fait nuit, ses yeux se r\u00e9vulsent, sa t\u00eate pend, un liquide orange sort de sa bouche et de son nez, et dans la mesure o\u00f9 il vient tout juste de mourir, j\u2019attends, au bord du lit, regard fixe, t\u00eate dress\u00e9e, gueule l\u00e9g\u00e8rement ouverte, selon mon jeu d\u2019instruction. Immobilit\u00e9. \u00c9quilibre. Programme veille et gestion de l\u2019alimentation. J\u2019attends. Ou comme disait C\u00e9line, je m\u2019entra\u00eene \u00e0 la mort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n



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sommaire<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
par cat\u00e9gories<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
par noms<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
newsletter<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
dons<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
infos<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Une courte nouvelle de l’auteur de \u00ab\u00a0Apr\u00e8s tout\u00a0\u00bb et \u00ab\u00a0Basqu.I.A.t\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2159,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fictions","category-revue-tina"],"yoast_head":"\n#31\/ Chien d'\u00e9crivain par Ian Soliane - <<< \u00e9ditions JOU<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\/?p=2158\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"#31\/ Chien d'\u00e9crivain par Ian Soliane - <<< \u00e9ditions JOU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Une courte nouvelle de l'auteur de "Apr\u00e8s tout" et "Basqu.I.A.t"\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\/?p=2158\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"<<< \u00e9ditions JOU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-12-07T01:13:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\/app\/uploads\/2024\/12\/aibo.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"700\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"700\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eric Arlix\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u00c9crit par\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Eric Arlix\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=2158#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=2158\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Eric Arlix\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c28daead05fe49e106d2655b42e8f9bd\"},\"headline\":\"#31\\\/ Chien d’\u00e9crivain par Ian Soliane\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-12-07T01:13:51+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=2158\"},\"wordCount\":613,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=2158#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/app\\\/uploads\\\/2024\\\/12\\\/aibo.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Fictions\",\"revue TINA\"],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=2158\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/revuetina.editionsjou.net\\\/?p=2158\",\"name\":\"#31\\\/ Chien d'\u00e9crivain par Ian Soliane - 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